Red-Cape: The tale of a Medic
by Wrecksauce
Summary: Andreas Kowalski signed onto the military as a Medic, he thought he knew how hard it was going to be, but he did not. He needs to become stronger, earn the respect of those around him if he wishes to survive, but to do that he will have to face the trials of being a medic, to face more death than most can handle, but that's all just part of the job description.


It's always best when the light is off  
>It's always better on the outside<br>Fifteen blows to the back of your head  
>Fifteen blows to your mind<p>

So lock the kids up safe tonight  
>Shut the eyes in the cupboard<br>I've got the smell of a local man  
>Who's got the loneliest feeling<br>-Radiohead

* * *

><p>"Look at you, Andreas! All grown up, enlisting as a Doctor…" <em>sigh <em>"seems like it was only yesterday you were only up to my waist…" I shot my Mom a _look_ while she went all misty eyed over me, an affectionate look, but still exasperated.

Meet me, Andreas Kowalski, a 12 year old boy who doesn't get out enough because he prefers to read books. I was standing with my mother, waiting to enlist into the army, to be a Medic. I was nervous, really nervous, it was the first time I had ever properly left home, and I was going to be gone for Three years. Along with that there was a sense of excitement, a sense of adventure, it was like I was going to do something worthwhile now, help people who needed it, but first I needed to learn to be a soldier and a medic, I was smart enough to know that it was going to be a hard change for me. I might even have to _socialize_…_urgh_. Back to the matter at hand, however, Mom was going to do something embarrassing, I knew it, she had that air about her.

"Mom!" I protested as she ruffled my hair lightly, she had a habit of doing that, she admitted once that it was calming for her. I would never understand that. Mom smiled down at me, it was the last time I would see her for at least three years, and while I may have looked resistant at her ruffling my hair, I really appreciated her seeing me off. _She's the only one who gives a damn_, I reminded myself, I had literally no friends, not like those people who claimed to have no real friends, I actually had no friends. I preferred reading to talking to people.

We were standing at the Army Depot in Trost, waiting for the Cart that took new military recruits to the training bases in the countryside behind wall Rose, military personnel milled around us and the other recruits as we waited. My gaze was drawn to a trio of Kids my age standing near the wall furthest away from us, they all looked downtrodden, and my guess was that they had come from the refugee camp nearby.

"Poor dears" Mom said suddenly. She sighed, she sounded sad, she must have been looking at the same group as I was, nobody else looked quite so forlorn, "they must have nobody left to see them off…" she stopped after that, I knew what she was talking about, there was no need to say it out loud, _because they were at Shiganshina_. The thought made me sad, for them mostly, they had probably lost everything. _Titans have a way of doing that_, I reminded myself. I had never seen a Titan, but I had seen drawings. Massive Humanesque monsters that ate people, not for the purposes of survival, but because they enjoyed it, and that was the scariest part of all, but it was something I needed to overcome, fear.

I looked at the three for a little longer, deciding that they were best left alone for now, and looked away again towards the gates, waiting for the Carts to appear. When they didn't arrive for a while, I found myself looking towards the sky. It was a nice day, clear skies, warm sun, birds flying overhead, it was the type of day I used to spend in the garden at our family home, playing with stones and grass, drawing in the dirt, looking for animals to feed. I would miss those days. Now I would have to talk to _people_, socializing was never my strong-point. _No way! Nobody would have guessed! _The small voice that seemed to commentate on everything I ever did piper up again, it had been there for years, kind of like the internal, sarcastic, pessimistic, slightly annoying me that I never let out.

I was jerked harshly from my thoughts as the old wooden gate started to creak open, it was loud, so loud it grated on my eardrums. Add that to the fact that it seemed to take forever and…well it was agonizing, but once they were open a long line of Carts rolled through, pulled by Horses, they lined up with the backs of the Wagons facing us. A man dismounted from the Cart that had entered first, holding a clip-board and a pen, he regarded us with a curiously blank expression for a moment.

"Listen!" he bellowed, enough to get the attention of those who were still chatting, "those wishing to enlist will form an orderly line _here_" this was punctuated by him drawing a line in the dirt with his boot, "then you will give me your name, City and Date of Birth. You will then fill up the carts behind me from left to right!" He didn't even wait for questions, just stood and stared evenly at all of us until some began to move towards the line he had drawn. I turned to Mom, she smiled sadly, placing both hands on my shoulders.

"Take care" her voice shook lightly, but she was stubborn enough to not cry, "come back to me in one piece" she gave my shoulders a squeeze before placing a light kiss on my forehead. I smiled and squeezed her hands, backing away slowly, she let her hands drop, smiling with the ghost of a tear forming in the corner of her eye, she was only _so_ stubborn.

"Love you Mom" my voice was loud enough only for her to hear, she smiled again, waving slightly, Mom was like that, slight, and kind.

Before I knew it I was standing near the front of the line, the stern man was taking the name of the recruit three places in front of me, I braced myself to make sure my voice sounded firm, convinced. _No use sounding like a weakling_.

"Name" the man said in a voice that even made _me _feel bored, he must have been dying for someone to start a fight or something.

"Andreas Kowalski", my voice wasn't betraying me yet, at least…it sounded even in my head.

"City and date of Birth" it wasn't a question, more of a demand, like he expected me to answer without hesitation. _Welcome to the military_.

"Trost, January 872" I replied, for some reason I found myself hoping for some kind of approval from the man, not that I knew why, and it wasn't like he gave me any, _obviously_. After I gave the bored man my details I went to the Cart that the recruit in front of me had gone to, only to find it full, I realized that I had to get into the next cart along, but that was good, I would get to shrink into the corner and not be seen.

I sat against the covering at the far end of the Cart which separated those in the back from the driver in front, leaning my head against it as people started to get in, I wasn't expecting anyone to talk to me, and I didn't mind that. I was so nervous that I doubted I would be able to hold a conversation. I sat there for what didn't even feel like very long, so I startled slightly when the cart began to move, I hadn't even heard the call to depart. It was then I realized that everyone in the cart was talking, to either those next to them or in small groups, I couldn't help but feel slightly left out, but I guessed that they all knew each-other from before. _Besides, you can barely hold a conversation with yourself, let alone other people_, the little voice in the back of my head told me, as much as I knew the voice was right it still made me a little more sad.

"Hey", my previous thought train was derailed and I jumped when someone spoke to me, my head whipped around and the one that had spoken raised an eyebrow, obviously finding my reaction funny. _Oh crap, I'm gonna have to talk to this guy…come on…what the hell do I say? _My mind went into overdrive for some reason, logical thoughts went straight out the window, even though the answer to the greeting was so blatantly damn obvious. _Moron_.

"Hi", my voice wavered, cracked even. _Damn it, now I sound like a scared three-year-old, great going Andreas. Amazing. You take the prize for most socially inept person to ever enlist, congrats._ It must have been so obvious to him that I was a loner at that point, I probably even fitted the _description _of 'loner' well enough, I was short for a start, I had long Blond hair I tied back behind my head, and I was awful in crowds. _Not that he knows that_, I reminded myself.

It wasn't like I was stupid, although it may sound that way, in-fact I was considered very intelligent by anyone who cared to notice, I read books on almost everything, mostly medicine, science, philosophy, battle tactics…one of those was not like the others, I know, but I still found it interesting. The latter interest was the entire reason I joined the army in the first place, I wanted to help people, and the military needed trained medics…so here I was.

"Name's Reiner" the tower of a boy beside me said, effectively introducing himself as a man mountain with a gentle heart who just _happened _to be called Reiner. I realized that I had been staring, kicked myself firmly up the backside, and mustered my reply.

"Andreas", even when it was mustered it sounded weak. _Goes well with the rest of you…_

Reiner regarded me for a moment, his eyes seemed appraising, but not unkind. "You don't get around much, do you?" he said eventually, effectively knocking me on my ass. _Metaphorically_. I laughed nervously, fidgeting in my seat and playing with my fingers, that was my nervous tick, no idea why, but there it was. For some reason, I felt like I could talk to this guy, he had that kind of air about him, like he wouldn't judge.

"No, I…don't really have friends…" no sooner had I said that, my eyes widened in shock, I shrunk into the corner a little and glanced around nervously. _What the hell was I talking to him about this for? He didn't care, he was just being nice to the loner in the corner_. Reiner regarded me again, his eyebrow raised with a slight smirk playing his lips.

"I see…" he sounded contemplative, like he was weighing up the pros and cons or something. "Well, stick with me, I'll look after you", and that was that. He turned again and started talking to the boy on the other side of him, leaving me gaping at his back. _Was he just _nice _to me? What…why?_ I stared at his back for a little while longer, then reverted to standard and stared at the floor. _Books are so much easier to understand…_

* * *

><p>"YOU ARE ALL NOW OFFICIALLY MEMBERS OF TRAINING UNIT NUMBER 104!" I almost jumped out of my skin as the beady eyed instructor let loose his opening below, he prowled at the front row of new recruits, eyeing us all up. "UNFORTUNATELY FOR YOU I, KEITH SHADIS, WILL BE IN CHARGE!" I grimaced internally, knowing doing it outwardly would get me a chewing-out and a few hundred laps of the training ground.<p>

"FOR THE NEXT THREE YEARS I WILL TRAIN YOU USELESS SHITS" Shadis continued in a voice that would make a bear think twice, "I'LL TEACH YOU HOW TO FIGHT TITANS. WHEN YOU FACE A TITAN IN THREE YEARS TIME WILL YOU BE JUST FOOD? OR WILL YOU BECOME A GLORIOUS WALL TO PROTECT OUR GLORIOUS WALLS? OR MIGHTY CHAMPION OF MANKIND WHO WILL DESTROY THE TITANS?"

If this guy didn't bellow so much, he would have been inspiring, as it was I suspected that most of the recruits were trying too hard to stand stock still in a parade rest to pay him much attention. _What did you expect? He's military…_

"YOU!" I hadn't realized that Shadis was standing right in front of me until he bellowed in my ear, "WERE YOU DAYDREAMING?!" _Ah, Crap…_

"No Sir!" I tried to reply evenly, but the shock was still present in my voice, and it shook a little. It was when Shadis bent down to my eye-level that I knew…knew I was for it.

"YOU" he bellowed, it took all of my will-power to not flinch, "YOU ARE THE MOST WORTHLESS SACK OF SHIT HERE! WHY YOU ENLISTED AT ALL IS BEYOND MY COMPREHENSION!" He leaned in close, so close I could smell his breath…and yet somehow I remained stock-still. "Care to enlighten me?" he growled, he was a scary bastard, I'd give him that much.

"I enlisted to become a medic, Sir!" I shouted back, that was how this worked right? Shout back to show your confidence…the fact that Shadis hadn't ripped me apart yet suggested I was right.

"A Medic?" he almost sounded surprised, "why would that be?"

"So that I could help those more capable than myself, Sir!" Before I had said it, I thought that it might have been a satisfactory answer…but it actually turned out to be exactly what Shadis was looking for.

"PATHETIC!" he went back to bellowing again, "YOU ARE TITAN FOOD! NOTHING MORE! WHAT IS YOUR NAME?!"

"Andreas Kowalski, Sir!"

"_Andreas_" Shadis repeated, drawing out every syllable so that it contained an equal amount of Malice, "THAT IS THE NAME OF A PATHETIC WEAKLING!" Shadis roared, I was trying so hard not to flinch as he spat on my face with every sharp letter. "FOR YOUR SAKE I HOPE I CAN WHIP YOU INTO SHAPE, BUT I'M AN INSTRUCTOR. NOT A MIRACLE WORKER!" he screamed, and with that he moved onto the next victim, two places to my left down the line, I didn't pay attention though…I was in a daze. It had only just hit me, how much work I would need to do to improve enough to be of any use, it was a thought I'd had before, but it had only really just sunk in._  
><em>

_He's right, you know_, the voice in my head stated, _You shouldn't really be here, you're not strong…you're fast enough to run away from danger, but when it comes down to it, you'll be eaten alive by Titans_. The call to turn about came, I followed the order, turning smartly and facing the other way, when I did I caught the eye of Reiner briefly. There was a hint of…_something_…but it was gone before I could really pin-point what it was.

Shadis was moving down the line I was facing now, eying the recruits as he passed, some of them he wasn't chewing out, while others he ripped into. The next victim was one of the trio I had spotted with Mom at the Depot, the short Blond one, why Shadis had chosen him I don't know, he didn't even move a muscle while Shadis chewed him out, insulting his parents and his name. It went on and on, maybe taking as long as two hours before Shadis stood at the other end of the muster field, he eyed us all with unwavering disdain. _Probably for dramatic effect, _I mused silently.

"THAT" he began, reverting to standard bellowing techniques, "WAS ENLIGHTENING. I NOW HAVE NO DOUBTS THAT YOU ARE ALL TITAN FOOD IN YOUR CURRENT STATE" he paused looking us all over, like he was daring one of us to break. "TRAINING SHALL BEGIN TOMMORROW, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!" he roared finally, the soldiers that had been standing around the edges of the field started marshaling us out a line at a time. As I left the field I was sure I could feel the eyes of Shadis on me, burning two symmetrical holes into my back evenly as I tried my best to walk smartly towards the barracks.

I went straight to my assigned dormitory when I reached the barrack block that we were assigned, I had no idea who I was sharing with, I hadn't even looked, I just needed to collect my thoughts before dinner.

Lying on my bunk and staring up at the ceiling, I mulled over what Shadis had called me, I hated how much it fit me, it was like a glove, I don't think I had ever felt this worthless in all my entire life. _Your area is books, not fighting, you can't kill a Titan simply by knowing _how _to kill it, you actually have to do it too_. The voice in my head was right again, damn it, it was always right, it knew me better than I did, and it was in my own head, but it reinforced something important, I would really have to work hard to be of use here.

Books weren't going to help me now, only hard work and perseverance, I should use this to better myself, become stronger, mentally and physically…it would make Mom proud, and I would feel better for it…so why not? I would be able to help people, which was why I signed on, and maybe I could be good enough to make a difference beyond that, save a commander or something, kill enough Titans to earn the respect of my fellow trainees.

I knew the option for those who didn't think they could do it, they would ask to go work the Landfill, breaking bricks and disposing of waste. I wouldn't let myself down like that, I reckoned I could do better, I was smart...maybe brain over brawn would help me here, 3 Dimensional Maneuver Gear required some brains, especially on proper utilization, proper use of inertia was good for gas preservation. Plus, I was to be a medic, my job would be patching up the wounded, tending to the dying, proper use of 3DMG would ensure that I would be able to get to where I was needed quickly and efficiently.

"Oi!" I jumped out of my skin, making the wooden bunk rattle when I started, looking around hurriedly I found the source of the shout. A Black haired boy with Green eyes was staring at me, he looked bemused, with on eyebrow raised and a mouth twisted into a puzzled frown. "Finally" he stated, his look changing entirely towards 'slightly annoyed', "that was the fifth time I called you". _You need to stop daydreaming...__  
><em>

"What for?" I asked, rubbing my eyes and laying my head back down, staring back up at the ceiling.

"It's nearly time for dinner" _oh, crap! Really? _"I thought you'd been chewed out by Shadis enough already" the black haired boy stated simply, I could feel some heat going to my face, which I mentally swiped at until it receded. I climbed down from the bunk, careful so as to not injure myself, that would be the ultimate embarrassment, being called pathetic and falling off a bunk in one day? I don't think I would ever come back from that.

"Thanks" I attempted a smile to convey it, but it must have failed miserably, the boy simply gazed back at me, he looked unimpressed. He shook his head and walked away, leaving me standing alone in the room, I glanced back up at the bunk briefly, wondering whether they would have noticed one missing recruit, I wasn't hungry anyway, at least…not anymore. _No, you need your strength…that is, unless you want to get kicked out on your second day_. I sighed and walked out of the block, following the steady stream of people walking towards the mess hall, I hoped I could get a table to myself, but it seemed unlikely, hopefully I could get in and get out quickly…so nobody would notice.

Once in the mess, I found that getting a table to myself might be easier than I thought, most people had gotten themselves into groups already, and they were taking up the tables near the front mostly. I cued for my food, grabbed it, and sat at the table right at the back in the corner, it probably looked a little bit odd, but I didn't care. I doubted anybody would want to talk to the loner kid who'd gotten chewed out by Shadis on the first day, that wasn't someone you'd like to be associated with. _Since when would anyone associate with you anyway? _Making friends wasn't essential for excelling here, to be the best you needed to be disciplined, smart, strong-willed, and confident, those were things I could do, and the more I told myself that, the more I realized that it was true, I could do those things. I wasn't going to drop out. No way.

I finished my meal quickly, disposed of my tin, and left. Nobody seemed to notice, it was almost like I wasn't there, but I didn't mind that either, it was like I was still back home. Nobody bothered me and I didn't bother them, it was a perfect working relationship. _Exactly, they don't waste their time and you don't have to socialize…works well for everyone_. The fact that I agreed with myself was worrying.

I got back to the Barrack block in a kind of daze, not really realizing that I was there until I had my hand on the door-handle, I stood there for a moment, gazing at my hand. Nobody was back yet, and something in the back of my head had registered that the stars were out, so I retracted my hand and sat on the steps. I clutched my knees to my chest and lent my chin on them, gazing up at the stars. It was another thing I did, probably the most normal thing to be frank, for all of the time I spent reading books I would never not appreciate what I could see just by looking up at the sky at night. I traced some of the stars with my fingers, drawing lines between them, making patterns, it was comforting, calmed me down, organized my thoughts, making me more convicted of my goal. After a while I simply let my arm drop and just stared, wondering about what might happen, who would survive, who would drop out, I wondered what my Medical instructor would be like, some of physical training had been substituted for Medical training, but some I would have to do in my own time.

It was a satisfying thing to be doing, as if I was doing something fulfilling, and it was a combination of two things that I had fantasized about as a small child: being a doctor, and being a soldier. In theory it was a perfect fit really. I could hear footsteps approaching from around the corner, maybe three sets altogether, meaning that people were coming back from the mess. I cast one last glance at the stars, and then went inside, simply not wanting to be caught star gazing. _Your reputation would be in tatters_, as if it wasn't already.

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><p><strong>AN: Short opening chapter, will have longer ones in the future, just wanted to get this one out. **


End file.
